


Thank You But I Enjoy Not Being Dead

by Moondancer2006



Series: Collection of Hollow Knight Stories [2]
Category: Hollow Knight (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone is suffering, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Ghosts, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, The Knight Is Suffering, The Knight Must Be Protected, The Knight is terrible at being alive, Xero is suffering, Xero looks after The Knight, Xero treats the Vessels as younger siblings, Xero used to work for The Pale King
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24663439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moondancer2006/pseuds/Moondancer2006
Summary: Xero awakens as a ghost and resigns himself to haunting the Resting Grounds for the rest of eternity, but what will he do when a little traveler shows up and accidentally offers him a way out?
Relationships: Markoth/Xero (Hollow Knight), The Pale King & Xero (Hollow Knight), The Pale King/Xero (Hollow Knight)
Series: Collection of Hollow Knight Stories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764748
Comments: 11
Kudos: 95





	1. I don't remember

Xero opened his eyes blearily, looking around. 

How strange, it seemed that he was in the Resting Grounds. He had no recollection of why he was there. In fact, his thoughts and memories seemed rather foggy. 

_ How…How did I get here… What happened? _

Orange. Bright, blinding orange. Cold, unforgiving white. 

_ Nothing, there's nothing. Doesn't mean anything.  _

He fidgeted, index finger tapping away at his thigh. He felt uneasy. He couldn't remember anything and that made him vulnerable. 

Then he looked down. 

He was floating a few inches above the ground. 

Then his vision went black. 

  
  


* * *

So he had fainted.

That was embarrassing. 

And he was dead.

It wasn't really that far-fetched of a theory considering he was literally in a graveyard. 

Either that or he has now become Soul Master and became capable of flying, but that doesn't explain the graveyard, so he was just going to assume that he was a ghost. 

He didn't know ghosts could faint but apparently  _ he _ could, which was  _ delightful _ to know. 

It was intriguing and  _ terrifying _ at the same time. He had heard bugs whisper about the ghosts that haunted the land of Hallownest unable to rest, but he had thought it was bullshit. 

Xero still didn't know how he died though. He didn't want to be dead. He had so much left to live for. 

_ No you didn't,  _ a voice in his head whispered,  _ the plague took everything from you. Don't you remember? _

He didn't.

  
  


* * *

There was a nice moth who wandered the Resting Grounds. She was small and purple and fluffy. 

He thinks, no, knows that she would be soft to hug.

The voice in his head told him he knew that because of someone called  _ Markoth _ , and that her name was  _ Seer _ . 

Was she the caretaker of this place? Did he know her before and if so, did she remember him? 

He hoped so. He didn't want to be forgotten. 

  
  


* * *

His tombstone was big. Whether he floated or stood on the ground, it loomed over him ominously. 

It says 'Cursed are those who turn against the King'. 

He didn't like it. 

Perhaps he truly was cursed to turn into a ghost and stay here forever, where no one would ever see him, alone. 

Xero now knew that he was a traitor of some kind. He didn't recall who he turned against though. 

_ White, cold and unforgiving. Narrowed black eyes. A crown. Wyrm.  _

He did however remember the Mantises. He had trained and studied under them after he arrived in Hallownest. 

_ Warm, friends, red, armour, challenge.  _

They were fierce, but kind once you gained their respect. 

He wondered how they were doing. 

He also could vaguely recall someone called  _ Dryya _ . 

A nice, strong name.

He doesn't believe that he was that close to her, but she appeared to have some ties with the Mantises. 

_ Fierce Dryya. _

  
  


* * *

Time passed slowly. Too slowly. Did it even pass at all, he wondered. 

Xero had stayed there for weeks, perhaps months, trying to remember, to recall all the memories he had lost after his death. 

And he had succeeded. 

He realised that he preferred being kept in the dark. 

He liked to take his mind off the bad memories that made him uncomfortable and upset. He thought a lot about Markoth and Revek, the Mantises and his old Ant Colony and his siblings. 

They made him happy. 

He kind of liked to think about the little vessel who had grown so big and tall. 

They were such a sweetheart. It was a shame that they had resigned themself to such a fate. 

_ They had wanted it. They loved too much.  _

He always felt that he should have tried harder to stop that from happening. Even after all this time that plan still seemed set to fail. 

He didn't know how that turned out though. Was Hallownest thriving? Did that stupid ass plan actually work? 

He highly doubted it. 

  
  


* * *

Xero found out that he could actually wander around the Resting Grounds.

It's been months since he had been awakened and he was slightly abashed for taking that long to figure it out. 

He had dug up some seeds and set himself to plant and grow them as a hobby. He had watched Ze'mer and Isma garden so he at least knew the basics. How hard could it be? 

At least that would give him something to do. 

Ghost logic was fucking bonkers, at least to him. He could float and stuff, but he found he could only touch certain things and phase through others, but there didn't seem to be any specific reason for that. 

He would ask Monomon to provide him with answers, but that wasn't possible anymore, was it? 

He had tried to walk out of the Resting Grounds a couple of times, but reappeared back at his grave every time he stepped out, so he was stuck. 

Seer had placed a watering can next to where he planted the plants, and would refill it once in a while. 

He also found out he was kind of shitty at gardening and had a lot to learn, but he watched Seer fix his mistakes and improved. 

The plants bloomed and the fragrant scent helped to calm his mind. 

At least it was peaceful here. 

  
  


* * *

There was a little vessel which had fallen onto the platform where his grave was located, landing with a great thump. 

They couldn't see him, as expected, and walked off the platform wandering off to the left, towards the statues of the dreamers. 

They reminded him of the vessel that lived in the palace. He had started calling them Pax in his head.

Pax never chose a name when he had asked, long ago, so he just named them after the book they chose the first time he asked them to pick a book for him to read to them. 

_ "My Pure Vessel, the Hollow Knight", the King said proudly, the small child next to him standing ramrod straight with their eyes staring blankly ahead.  _

_ Anyone else would have agreed, they were emotionless, they were empty, simply a thing, but Xero could see that there was something, an emotion maybe, in their eyes. Barely noticeable, but there.  _

_ They were so small. They were so young. He would never treat the child like an object. Whatever the fuck the King said, they weren't the empty husk he had hoped to have.  _

_ If only the King had listened.  _

He heard the pattering of the little traveller's footsteps as they entered into the room again. Why did they return? 

The footsteps stop, and were followed by soft thumps and the sound of someone scrabbling against the rocks. Were they trying to climb back up?

He peeked at them from the platform and watched them jump up and down in an attempt to clamber back up, before they gave up and walked back the way they came from grumpily. 

He had to stifle a laugh. They were quite endearing. 

  
  


* * *

He hadn't expected it, but the little one returned. 

  
  



	2. A Dream Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ghost wants to be friends with Xero but they do have priorities. 
> 
> One is dead and the other is still alive, they know who they will choose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL; DR, Ghost fights Xero. 
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter!

When Seer had gifted Ghost the Dream Nail, they had waved it about, in awe. 

What an interesting weapon, granting them the ability to read thoughts and enter others' dreams.

It's glow was magnificent, and they were hopeful that they could use it in Deepnest and wouldn't have to buy a lantern from Sly. 

They had accidentally fallen there once and had such a terrible time that they swore never to return without a light (and therapy). 

As they went back the way they had came from, they came across the platform again. They had fallen from a great height to land there, and they were unsure of how to get back to Dirtmouth from here. 

Could they climb? They hopped up and down, but they were too short. They couldn't grip and scale the wall for the life of them either.

They were in the midst of cursing their height when they noticed a horned head peeking over the edge of the platform, watching them with curious and amused eyes. 

_Oh, a new friend?_

Ghost tried to get onto the platform to greet them, but alas, their efforts were futile. They were too short, it seemed, a conclusion they probably should have arrived at quite a while ago. 

Ghost trudged away to find a new way back to Dirtmouth, promising that they would return to meet the horned bug. 

  
  


* * *

Ghost returns again because they want to visit Seer. She was all by herself and they didn't want her to feel lonely. They haven't progressed much, mostly just falling into spikes, but they didn't mind. They had met a new friend called Tiso! He was a bit mean but so was Zote, so they didn't mind. 

They land on the platform and look around. Was the horned bug here today? 

They walk towards the biggest gravestone, which bore an unsettling resemblance to the bug they had seen. 

They feel like they're forgetting something. 

As they approach, a red-clad bug appears, floating in front of the tombstone. 

It was them! 

Excitedly, they rush forward, waving fervently. They stop in front of them and jump up and down. 

_New friend!_

The bug looks surprised. 

_Ah, you can see me..? How peculiar._

Their voice is a whisper, slightly hoarse but soothing. 

Ghost nods. 

Suddenly they remember Seer's words. They needed to collect Essence, and she did mention an interesting gravestone nearby. Was this it? 

The bug, who is clad in crimson armour, tattered cloak flowing behind them, eyes Ghost's nail warily. 

Ghost didn't want to fight. Ghost just wanted a friend. But their sibling was locked away in that place, all alone. They have to help them! 

They know it has to be done.

They draw the Dream Nail and the battle begins. 

  
  


* * *

Ghost did not expect that nail to return, and definitely did not like the feeling of it piercing through their back.

Bubbles of void flew off them, which they notice grabs the bug's attention. 

What catches their interest was the fact that the nail seems to be made out of Soul. This bug must be a strong warrior, to be able to manipulate Soul and use it in combat! 

They jump and slash at the bug, whose name was Xero apparently, getting in a few hits before ducking back to dodge another nail that before it hits their forehead. 

When Xero summons another two nails, Ghost thinks they are done for, until they accidentally slip and topple off the platform. 

Xero did not come after them, though they do hear a quiet _What the fuck are you ok._ from above. 

They steady themself, waiting for Xero to fly under and _stab_ them in the face with a nail, but nothing happens. 

_Oh._

This isn't that scary anymore. 

They stand there and focus, healing themself. This gives them a burst of confidence. Maybe they would _not_ lose after all! 

Then they climb back up on the platform, waving at Xero. He is floating, just off to the side of the platform, peering at them as they scramble to get a good grip on the wall, damn they wish they could jump higher. 

He gives them a tired, incredulous look before chucking a nail in their direction. 

They dance around each other once again, dodging and attacking until Ghost gets in the final blow. 

They watch worriedly as Xero seems to spasm into Essence. It looks painful. They give a silent sigh of relief when he appears back in front of his gravestone. 

They run up to him. He avoids their gaze. 

_I'm such a fool._ He murmurs, even softer. 

They can see now, how tired he is. 

Sadness drapes heavy over him, it could be heard behind his voice, seen hidden deep in his eyes, in the way he lowers his head to look at the ground. 

They cannot say anything to comfort him as he floats there, nor when he lowers himself onto the ground next to them. 

_What makes them feel better_ , they think. They liked it when Quirrel patted their head. Maybe it would make Xero feel better too. 

They reach forward, placing their little mitten-like hand against Xero's helmet. They whisper in their language, the only one they speak, but others are unable to hear. 

_Is okay, Xero don't be sad. Ghost here, Ghost give pats, Ghost here._

He freezes. Eyes dart up from the ground and focus on them. Then he laughs softly, uncertainly. 

Ghost is happy they made him laugh. 

He reaches out and places his hand on one of their horns, stroking it gently. It feels nice. 

They instinctively raise their hand to meet his. He holds both of their hands in his warm palm as he fades.

_Thank you, Little One._

He shatters into Essence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give Ghost a hug. They're so small. 
> 
> I'm not great at fight scenes, can you tell?


	3. Cursed Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Xero disappears, Markoth worries. 
> 
> Perhaps it would have been better if he had just died instead.

Markoth hadn't seen Xero in weeks. 

He had said that he had a job to do,he was a mercenary after all, but he never took this long and Markoth couldn't help but worry. 

The kids were getting worried too. Aeris had asked  _ Where's Xero?  _ and he didn't know. Thistlewind told him that he would keep an eye out for him, but he hadn't seen a trace of him either. 

Seer had stepped into the role as the kids caretaker, saying it felt like when Markoth and Thistlewind were little, until Xero came home. 

_ If Xero came home.  _

Since the sacrifice, the Plague had gotten worse. He remembered how Xero had looked when The Hollow Knight walked past with the Monarch to the Black Egg Temple. 

_ It isn't going to work,  _ Xero had muttered, almost too quiet for Markoth to hear. They left soon after. 

It didn't. According to Xero's reports, the lower district of the City of Tears was crumbling just a few weeks after the sacrifice, with more and more succumbing to the Infection, and the higher district wasn't faring much better. 

He felt that the kids weren't safe there and asked Markoth if they could live with the Moth Tribe. (Of course Markoth said yes, Seer and Thistlewind loved to spend time with the little ones and Markoth could never refuse Xero anyway.)

Alorus clambered onto his lap sleepily, dragging a cushion behind them and placed it on his lap, curling up on it for a nap. 

Markoth sighed, scratching their horns just like Xero did. That always did seem to put them at ease.

  
  


* * *

Markoth had just wanted a nice trip into the City of Tears. Not this. 

He nudged Aeris, who had insisted on coming along to their former hometown, behind him and under his cloak. 

_ Why you? _

_ Why Xero?  _

But it was him. The same silhouette, same armour, same glowing nails.

But his eyes were glowing orange. Wide open and orange, orange, orange. Tears dripped out of them. 

His posture was crooked, head cocked in an angle that seemed like his neck might almost snap. 

And dashed at them, a blur that was almost impossible to see. 

Markoth flinched back, placing his Dreamshield between him and Xero. Instead of the clang of nail against shield he had expected however, he only felt the brush of Xero's armour as he ran past him. 

He turned around, wondering what Xero was doing. 

And he saw him. 

The Pale King. 

* * *

The King stood there as his Knights and Kingsmoulds leapt in front of him to fend off the attacker. 

They incapacitated the Kingsmoulds and swiftly and mercilessly, slipping nimbly past the Knights and jamming their nail through the King's body, impaling him and one of his wings. 

_ Ow.  _

He had wanted to see how the City of Tears was faring as he felt guilty for hiding in his castle while his plan crumbled around him. 

There was a quiet. Ichor dripped down the nail. 

Then the King recognised them. Xero? He knew him, of course he did, he used to be one of his Knights. 

_ My Knight.  _

Not his anymore. That disgustingly orange gaze, filled to the brim with hate. This wasn't  _ his _ Knight, not Xero. 

He had  _ never _ looked at him like that, not even when he found out about the  _ Abyss _ . 

Ze'mer acted first, swinging her over-sized falchion at Xero with a cry. The nail was yanked roughly out of the Kings torso, and with a sharp clank the blades collided. 

The King wasn't going to die anytime soon. He knew that. He was a God after all. He traced the wound, flicking his shredded wing. He wondered if he should intervene. 

A glowing nail materialised behind him, catching him on his shoulder and the curving to slice through Ze'mer's forearm. 

Isma dashed forward, twirling her staff and slammed it into Xero's side, knocking him off balance. Thick green vines wrapped around him and he made to cut through them with more nails, but she lifted him into the air and flung him at Hegemol. 

He twisted in mid-air and stabbed his nail into the ground to slow himself down, and ducked towards Isma, two nails following behind him. 

_ It wasn't him. She's using him. He's dead.  _

The King materialized his own nail, taking aim as Isma and Xero clashed, steadying his breath. 

He threw his nail. It impaled him just above his hip and he stumbled. But he still kept moving, his attention once again on the King. He ripped the nail out and it disappeared, orange haemolymph dribbling down the faulds and dripping off his tasset. 

The King readied himself, motioning for the Knights to stand down. He didn't have experience fighting in groups and eas afraid he'd hurt one of them. Xero darted towards him. Dodge, slash, stab, dodge parry, slash. 

The King had an advantage, his wounds healing at a fast pace, though the larger stab wound took a longer time, while Xero had been cut everywhere and yet still did not back down. The Radiance didn't care about pain, he was just a puppet for her to use. 

Xero was stronger when he was persistent though, pushing forward and starting to aim for his head, already having broken off the tops of a couple of his prongs. 

The ichor dripping into his eyes were quite the annoyance. 

Suddenly a golden nail flew out of nowhere, colliding with Xero and sending him flying with a crack into a wall, pinning him there. 

The King's gaze flickered from Xero to the direction the nail came from.

_ A moth?  _

He could just make out a little white-shelled head peek out from their cloak, empty black eyes watching the scene. 

_ A vessel??  _

The moth shouted as Xero reached for the nail and began to try and pull it out, white nails appearing again, "Knock him out already, won't you!"

The moth sent their own golden nails to parry Xero's but stayed frozen in place. 

Ze'mer and Isma moved towards Xero, Isma restraining him with her vines and Ze'mer slamming the back of his head with the hilt of her sword, knocking him unconscious.

White nails faded away, golden nails returned to their owner. 

The moth took a step back, picked up the vessel, and ran. 

* * *

Cursed are those who turn against the King. 

_ You should have listened to me, My King.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't edited and my tenses are probably all over the place, so I'll check through it once I make it through my shit ton of homework and have free time! 
> 
> In this AU at least, when Xero finds the Abyss, he finds the last three vessels that didn't die or didn't get out the way Ghost, the Lost Kin and Greenpath Vessel did. He also picks up another two he bumps into later. He becomes their caretaker. He's their big bro. 
> 
> If you find a picture of the Nosk's lair, from left to right foreground, their names are Aeris, Kai and Alorus. From left to right background, their names are Oshea and Fei.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> If my Itallics don't make sense to you, I assure you that they don't make sense to me either. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
